11th hours. They tend to be a space where extreme stress lives. I’m a planner so between loving being organized, as well as feeling like I have control over my life…. 11th hours have simply not been my happy place.

Sometimes the things we don’t like about our lives, ourselves or a situation can make us so dead set on flipping the narrative that we not only change the story, but we change our life. In changing yourself you change everyone around you and as as result their stories also become better.

Last minute things cause panic in me, deadlines not met days prior bring stress. 11th hours have always meant last chance, last moments, time to inner freak out now. Then something unexpected happened. Jesus, as it turns out really LOVES to hang out in 11th hour moments.

He knows that in this space that when the impossible happens…. It is only because of Him and credit stands tall and salutes were credit is due. Foolishly I think I find other places to give praise in those first 10. When you get used to Him showing up in this space of uncertainty, you learn to wait differently.

It’s 1am and I found myself suddenly awake. Pain. It grips you in a way that panic can set in while you try to breath. This goes for purpose too. Tonight though as I whispered, “please Jesus”… an new instant peace cuddled into me. There was a knowing that in this moment someone else was already awake praying for me. In this moment I knew I could rest.

Nights have always been a space where I live in another dimension- dreaming endlessly. My health journey has interrupted the magic of dreaming, both metaphorically and in actuality. Tonight as I pulled up my blanket I was able to instantly calm my fear, and I felt your love. I opened just one of your letters and I smiled realizing that for some, being strong is when they finally ask for help. The blankets of friendship is a beautiful gift. When panic is overcome by peace… miracles suddenly have meaning.

11th hours are still unnerving, but are also kind of exciting as I really love seeing how God is going to do the impossible. You all being there for me in this storm makes the rain feel less heavy. 11th hours hold magic when fear is overcome by impossible. Sometimes chaos can create change. Sometimes it is courage. Whatever it might be for you, I hope you always trust in the magic of 11th hours.

Here are a few photos that bring back some of mine…